Blog of a Dork

  I have to tell you about what may have been the funniest thing that I have ever seen/heard. It was in 4th period, because that’s where we do all the fun stuff. We were put in groups of 2 and had to do these demonstrative speeches (a speech explaining how to do something). Most people did like ‘How to make cookies’ or ‘How to build a bird house’ or something like that. In other words, most of them were lame and borring. The speech that Brittney and I did was ‘How to fight dirty’. It was funny to us and our friends because it contained a few inside jokes but no one else really seemed to get it. Whatever, it was intelligent humor and they’re all dumb. Anyway, this story is not about my speech.

  Two of my friends gave a speech intitled ‘How to make a pirate, for dummies’. One of the guys was John, but his part wasn’t funny because he’s gay. Not politically correct gay, just everyone hates you and wishes you would die gay. (Laughs with anyone who gets that reference.) But Elliot was also in the group. For those of you who don’t know Elliot I will have to describe him so you can get a mental image, which you may need to see the humor in this. Elliot is one of those tall (about 6 feet), lanky guys. He has this shaggy hair that sticks out all over the place. In general, he just looks like a big dork (which he is). He’s one of those kids that is really quiet in class and most people think he’s shy. But if you know him, then you know that he is one of the funniest people ever. But, I digress.

  So imagine this tall, geeky looking guy who you always thought was a shy kid. And he starts pacing back and forth across the room, his hand on his chin with that ‘I’m concretrating’ look on his face. Then he begins to tell you how to make a pirate. Everything: the conception of the pirate, training him, educating him, and getting him a job. When he finishes the speech he stops pacing, turns toward the class, and with a completely straight face and a stern voice he loudly says “Arrggg” and goes back to his seat. Now, I don’t know if you can get the full effect of the humor without being there and actually knowing Elliot, but you should still find this rather ammussing. Or maybe not, I don’t know. But it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen/heard. Christina and I were laughing so hard. I nearly fell out of my chair. I seriously thought something inside of me was going to burst if I did not stop laughing so hard.

  So anyway, that was extreemely funny and I just thought I would share it even though most people probably won’t find it interesting. Of course, afterwards we got into the age old debate of ‘Pirates vs. Ninjas’, but that’s a completely different story. So remember, September 19th is National Talk Like A Pirate Day (Seriously, I couldn’t make that up. Look. It’s true.) Be sure and mark that on your calander (incase it’s not already on there). Now comment you landlubbers or I’ll make you walk the plank. (Joking, I don’t actaully have a plank.) Arrg to you, My Readers!

  This weekend I went to Europe on a bus full of chinese immigrants. The bus was blue. When we arrived I found a cardboard box to stay in for free, it was very nice. I went swimming in the ocean but it rained so all the Leafy Sea Dragons died, I was really sad. While I was there I met a girl with a mean step dad. There were lots of bears in Europe and they attacked frequently. This gave me an idea. I told her to snatch him up in a bear trap and that would solve all her problems. Then I wanted to go back and sleep in my nice, warm box but someone had stolen it. I was sad, again. So I bid farewell to Europe, vowing to return once more. I traveled back to the US on another bus. It was red and not full of chinese immagrants. When I got home I slept for 7.2275 days. In was a good trip.

 

 *P.S This whole entry was complete bull. So, don’t take it seriously My Readers!

  *It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The
frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of
its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the
stomach’s contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

  Isn’t that funny? Ha ha ha! What an interesting fact. Aren’t you all glad that I broadened your knowledge of amphibius reptiles? I’m sure you are. Well I don’t have much to say. I’m watching a Charlie Brown Christmas movie. Charlie Brown is awesome! I’m going on a field trip Thrusday with spanish. I wouldn’t normally be this excited about it but I get to miss a pre-calculus test. Yay! Well…I can’t really think of anything else. Oh, more cool info like that will be reandomly posted on the site, I hope you enjoy it. Also, certain frogs can be frozen solid, then thawed, and continue living. Was that random? No, not really. Just more frog info. Well, have a great December! Learn on my Reades! Learn On!

*I don’t have a joke for today but I do have a funny story…well maybe not funny but definetaly wierd. Here it is: An online casino won the eBay bidding for a decade-old cheese sandwich bearing what some people consider a likeness of the Virgin Mary and immediately began hawking Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese T-shirts. How funny is that? The Casino paid $28,000 for the sandwich, though it does kinda look like Mary. (To see the pick click on the link above.)

  Ha Ha! Today was the last day of school for 5 days. It’s Thanksgiving Break Baby! Can you believe some teachers actually gave us homework? How gay! Oh, well I’ll deal. I’m going to sleep all day tommorrow, eat all day Thursday, then sleep all day Friday. (Do you see a pattern there?) I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving! !Feliz dia del pavo! That’s happy turkey day for you non spanish speakers. Turkey on My Readers!

  Okay, let’s start off with the positive. My mom really likes Halloween and when it gets this time of year she goes out looking for all sorts of cool Halloween stuff. Well, long story short, she bought this giant, yellow, foam crown. It’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. For some reason I put it on earlier this evening and I still haven’t taken the dumb thing off. I’m wearing it right now. Now, imagine me sitting here, typing on the computer, wearing the giant foam crown. If you imagine right then you should be either smilling or laughing your head off. I hope this shared moment has alteast brought you some joy.

  Now on to the negative. I got up early, my mom and I were all ready to go. Of course you need to show proof of insurance so I started to look for it. Well, turns out that the insurance card for my car (still technically my dad’s car) was in my dad’s wallet and he had already left for work. So I couldn’t go take my test today and I was really pissed. Any normal person would be able to just go next Wednesday and take it but not me! I can’t go Wednesday because I have to take the PSAT. Then Thursday I’m being inducted into NHS (not that I’m complaining about that). So I have to wait unti NEXT FRIDAY to go take it! I think I might explode before then!

  I’ve released my anger about the driving test thing so now we can go back to the good. Just imagine me in that giant foam crown and we will all laugh and be happy. Until next time my readers!

  Okay people I’m posting something new because my blog is still new and it looks kind of pathetic so far. But I’m going to spread the word that there’s a new, kick-butt blog on the scene. (Yeah that was lame.) Anyway, I was looking at my last post and the time was wrong. Now I know that I could easily fix that problem but I’m lazy and I just don’t want to. Also, I think it’s kind of funny in a messed up sort of way. When I post this it will be about 7:37pm on Tuesday, October the 5th. Whatever. Peace Out my readers.  ^_^