Blog of a Dork

  Well I gues the title about covers it. So I’m leaving school Monday, trying to get home so I can have a little time to rest before I go to work. I get in my car, put on my seat belt, turn up the music, and back out of my spot. My car is completely out of the spot and stationary. I reach down to put it in drive, look up, and-BAM! A big, red Bravada backs right into the front passenger side of my poor little Nisan Sentra. I’m like ‘WTF?’ Then this tiny little goth chick jumps out of her gigantic SUV and was like “OMG, I didn’t even see you there!” And I was thinking ‘Yeah well you obviously didn’t look in your rearview mirros, because even though you car is 3 times the size of mine and a far larger vehicle than any person needs, you still should have seen me there.

  So the police officer posted at our school (who is a really sweet old guy) comes over and fills out the accident report. He asked me what happened and I told him. Then he asked her what happened and she says “Oh, we both just backed up at the same time and ran into each other.” That made me rather angrey because it was obviously her fault and she was trying to spread some of the guilt onto me. But he checked out the damage on our cars and on the accident report says that it was her fault so whatever.

  Oh, and let’s talk about the damage while we’re at it. Her gigantic monster mobile gets a bit scratched up on the bumper. My poor little baby now has a huge dent in the front of the passenger side door and the hood. I mean it’s a seriously big dent. My dad check it out and he was said there was no way he could fix it himself. Then today on my way to school it was making this wierd noise and I kept thinking it was going to explode or something. It turned out the the tire was just rubbing against this little peice of plastic which my dad popped back into place so that’s no big deal.

  I guess the positive side to this is that it wasn’t my fault and her insurance will have to pay for it. Also, my mom said that while it was in the shop we could maybe get it a new paint job. Yay! My poor car’s paint is badly faded and rather… splotchy. It would be nice to have it painted one solid, cool color. Green maybe! But, oh well. I guess I’ve discussed it enough now. It was the only thing that any one in my second period could talk about. Andrea told me “I’m would throw down for you if you want to fight her.” I graciously declined the offer but it’s goos to know that some people have my back. Okay, that’s all. Go drive safely, My Readers!

  I have to tell you about what may have been the funniest thing that I have ever seen/heard. It was in 4th period, because that’s where we do all the fun stuff. We were put in groups of 2 and had to do these demonstrative speeches (a speech explaining how to do something). Most people did like ‘How to make cookies’ or ‘How to build a bird house’ or something like that. In other words, most of them were lame and borring. The speech that Brittney and I did was ‘How to fight dirty’. It was funny to us and our friends because it contained a few inside jokes but no one else really seemed to get it. Whatever, it was intelligent humor and they’re all dumb. Anyway, this story is not about my speech.

  Two of my friends gave a speech intitled ‘How to make a pirate, for dummies’. One of the guys was John, but his part wasn’t funny because he’s gay. Not politically correct gay, just everyone hates you and wishes you would die gay. (Laughs with anyone who gets that reference.) But Elliot was also in the group. For those of you who don’t know Elliot I will have to describe him so you can get a mental image, which you may need to see the humor in this. Elliot is one of those tall (about 6 feet), lanky guys. He has this shaggy hair that sticks out all over the place. In general, he just looks like a big dork (which he is). He’s one of those kids that is really quiet in class and most people think he’s shy. But if you know him, then you know that he is one of the funniest people ever. But, I digress.

  So imagine this tall, geeky looking guy who you always thought was a shy kid. And he starts pacing back and forth across the room, his hand on his chin with that ‘I’m concretrating’ look on his face. Then he begins to tell you how to make a pirate. Everything: the conception of the pirate, training him, educating him, and getting him a job. When he finishes the speech he stops pacing, turns toward the class, and with a completely straight face and a stern voice he loudly says “Arrggg” and goes back to his seat. Now, I don’t know if you can get the full effect of the humor without being there and actually knowing Elliot, but you should still find this rather ammussing. Or maybe not, I don’t know. But it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen/heard. Christina and I were laughing so hard. I nearly fell out of my chair. I seriously thought something inside of me was going to burst if I did not stop laughing so hard.

  So anyway, that was extreemely funny and I just thought I would share it even though most people probably won’t find it interesting. Of course, afterwards we got into the age old debate of ‘Pirates vs. Ninjas’, but that’s a completely different story. So remember, September 19th is National Talk Like A Pirate Day (Seriously, I couldn’t make that up. Look. It’s true.) Be sure and mark that on your calander (incase it’s not already on there). Now comment you landlubbers or I’ll make you walk the plank. (Joking, I don’t actaully have a plank.) Arrg to you, My Readers!

  Uhh… I don’t have mcuh to say so whatever… let me think. I just thought I should update I don’t really have any breaking news or anything. Well, first off I would like to say that I love my fourth period. It’s great! We don’t really do much, I hang around and joke with a few of my friends (I think we really annoy the teacher). But it’s English class and I’m a senior so you know what that means, yep, portfolios. Oh, how I hate portfolios with a fiery passion. It’s not that I don’t like writting, that I enjoy, but I don’t like doing in on demand. Actually, I can’t do it on demand. I can’t have a teacher tell me, “Write an interesting creative piece of work by Tuesday morning.” That’s not how it works. Oh well, I’m sure I will manage to pull something together that will get me a proficient. But, aside from the whole portfolio thing, I love 4th period. The teacher is a ton of fun too. Christina *winks at Christina* knows what I’m talking about. Oh, good times. Alright, that’s about all I have to say for now. I’ll try to post again sooner or later. Peace out My Readers!